The Cat and the Snail

It was looking like a normal day at the the law offices of Daby and Jaby:

Catman: hewwo - you have reached the law offices of daby and jaby, we can't come to to the phone right now, and we are not real lawyers

The Catman was going over his usual laundry list of mundane activities:

Catman: put my fleece in the wash

Catman: couldn't get that buffalo sauce spot out

(Note: these two are actual separate story lines. The first involves the Catman trying to get rid of a strange smell from his fleece. The second, quite obviously, involves him spilling buffalo sauce on his shirt and his failed attempt to get it out.)

But things changed when the Foreign Correspondent learned of a more pressing and disgusting concern in the Catman's life: 

Catman:   worried my stuffing is coming out

Foreign Correspondent:  i don't know what that means

Catman: was pooping blood yesterday

disconcerting, for sure

Sadly, the Foreign Correspondent did not care to investigate the story:

Foreign Correspondent:  oversharing

Catman: :  should always be an open channel of communication

Foreign Correspondent:   --

However, he did care to provide a quick zinger:

Catman:  i'm writing my will, so let me know if there is anything you would like out of my toy chest...

Foreign Correspondent:   note: you're not dying

regards, the peanut gallery

But, the Catman also began to repeat his concerns to me:

Catman: what if i'm coming apart at the seams?
and my stuffing comes out
J: hahah I'm sure it is nothing
but it gives you something to worry about, which you like.
Catman: we'll see what comes out today
J: stop.
Catman: would like you down there when it's time for the snail to pass (Note 1: The Catman also inserted the image of a snail. Note 2: To my knowledge, the word "snail" has never been used in this context)
J: come on man

Luckily, the story has a happy ending:

Catman: all clear