J and the Catman Present: Iceberging

The following post was inspired by the recent viral-marketing-campaign-slash-drinking-game known as icing. It turned a totally lame drink into something all the kids want to drink. Imagine what you could do with vegetables.

Okay, so you're hanging with a bud, watching the World Cup, when he tells you he's gotta grab something from the fridge. With all the cat hair in the air, and the sound of the vuvuzelas blaring, you don't even notice that he didn't ask if you wanted anything. But when he comes back in, he's smiling like crazy. Something is up - he doesn't smile unless he's scared, or he's plotting something. Then you notice the head of lettuce.

"You just got iceberged," he proclaims.

Son-of-a... That bastard. How are you going to be able to eat a whole head of lettuce, you ask yourself. But those are the rules. You've got to do it. No dressing, nothing. Just leaf after leaf. Even that hard brown bit at the bottom. Your bud is going to love watching you struggle through this.

Suddenly, you're reaching for your backpack. Your hands are moving on their own, and to be honest, you're a little freaked out. But when you pull out your own head of lettuce, his mouth drops. You've reversed his Iceberg. He'll have to eat both heads of lettuce now.

Amidst all the floating cat dander, you sit back coolly in your chair, and think to yourself, "now, is there a cat in here or what?"