CATMAN 20/20: Catman Blasts Off

If it's Friday, and it's 9:30am, that means only one thing: Starbucks. For most of the employees at Groodbud & Groodbud, this is a peaceful, stress-free trip. For the Catman, however, it's a different animal altogether. This morning was particularly wild. Instead of his usual tall iced latte, he boldly ordered a grande caramel macchiato. By 9:45, all the neurons in Catman's pea-brain were firing on both cylinders, and his heart could barely keep up. What follows are excerpts of two (of what is presumably hundreds of) nearly identical conversations, the first between LL, a longtime Catman aficionado; the second between J:

The build-up:

Catman: LL
LL: d
Catman: MY BUD!
we should go to vegas
that would be great if we all went to vegas
hanging in the pool, drinking pina coladas
soaking it in
Catman: you know what would also be great
if we had a beach we could hang on at night
with a fire and some beers and hot dogs and stuff
always see that happening on commercials
but never happens in real life
why is that?
should be able to drink outside
we need a private beach

--

The high:

Catman: riding the brown dragon

i'm a great guy

damnit

you know the song handle with care?

listening to that

feeling good

i like george harrison

we should have a dance party

DANCE PARTY FREAKOUT

someone needs to get married

j could

can get divorced after, i just want to do some wedding dancing

--

The peak:

Catman: j
Catman: i think i am hyperventilating
Catman: sweating pretty bad through this shirt

Catman: vision is starting ot go dim
Catman: HELP ME JABYWON SPINOLI

--

The aftermath (life returns to normal):

Catman: pretty bored here

not a lot going on on my end

i might start saying been like british people say it

bean

you know how british people say bean instead of been

--

Just another typical day at Groodbud & Groodbud.