And This Is Just Such A Precarious Spot

Last night I had a pretty delicious din at Vegamont -- lobster pasta in a cream sauce and my usual pint of Viking. I ended up drinking some more Vikings over at Cafe Paris at the bar, trying to look as lonely as possible. That didn't work, but I did need to call an abrupt end to the night, as something with that pasta was not sitting well. Let's just say, it's a good thing my hotel was a block away. I turned in to get some rest for my big day ahead: glacier hiking and ice climbing. Woke up in the middle of the night with that lobster pasta still flopping around in my stomach and didn't get a great night's sleep after that.

Got up for my 9am pickup, stomach still not feeling great and real tired. Had another really cool guide named Ingolfur, though. There was also a guide-in-training named Fet, and two slightly older woman, an Australian named Jade and an Italian named Sara. Took about 2.5 hours to drive down to the Solheimajokull glacier (glahs-ier) in that bumpy van. We got there, harnessed up, got fitting for crampons, and got ice picks. Walking on that glacier was pretty awesome, not too cold and the weather held off for the most part. Ingolfur and Fet found us a good wall to do some ice climbing, so we learned the basics of that. Turns out ice climbing is really difficult, as evidenced by my burning hands and forearms at the end of the climb. Ended the trip with a little sandwich, juice box, and cookie for munch, which was great considering I didn't really eat much breakfast and it was now 3 oclock. On the way back, we stopped off at Skogafoss waterfall, where I took about 1,000 more pictures, including a few of some more birds.

For din tonight, went to Tapas Barinn. Another awkward night of eating alone at the "bar." Most bars here aren't really bars, they are just randomly placed stools at the area of the counter where the waiters put stuff. The food was really good, and I accomplished my mission of eating puffin and minke whale, but I still contend that tapas is a ripoff in a major way.

- CM

"Out" and About in Iceland

J:  where you headed tonight for din?
Catman:  tapas place
icelandic tapas
so i can get puffin and minke whale
sample some things
 J:  topless, you say?
Catman:  yea
J:  men and women?
Catman:  nah - just men
J:  d - question
Catman:  ?
 J:  would you rather see a topless man or a bottomless woman?
Catman:  hahaha
who's the man?
tom jane circa filming of the punisher, then def
guy was ripped

J: that was a gay test
invented by a very famous psychologist
Catman: k

"We've Never Found Anything Living In Here, Not Even a Spider" = The Perfect Cave

Awesome day down in the lava tube and snorkeling. Got picked up at 9am by Greman (or something like that) and boarded the van. Greman turned out to be pretty great: big mustache which he called his love brush, swore a lot, had a lot of opinions about the Icelandic government. There was also a cute Icelandic girl named Thora who was doing some sort of field work for school (also, something like that). The only other guest on the tour was an older woman from Chicago. We drove out to this lava tube outside of Reykjavik, which was just a narrow entranceway in the ground. Needless to say, there were a lot of Bear quotes running through my head ("and these rocks are just so slippy," etc.). The lava cave was pretty awesome, and at the end you felt like "yea I just crawled 65 meters underground through a mother fucking lava cave."

After the cave, we got some Icelandic meat soup at the gas station (I guess that means the meat was people meat). We continued on to our next destination: snorkeling in the Silfras Fissure. The Silfras is located between the Eurasian and American tectonic plates. Got into our dry suits and took off down this little river. I had rented an underwater camera from the tour company, but that thing ran out of batteries about three photos in. At various points swimming in the 35 degree water, I thought my mouth was going to freeze off (it didn't), but all in all, it actually didn't feel that cold. Ended the day by jumping off this little rock, which was actually deceptively high. Griman took a video of me jumping in, in which he narrated. It's pretty great.

For din I went over to Icelandic Fish and Chips, a nice little establishment down by the water. I'm always very confused in these places as to how to order and what to do. Whenever I walk in a place, it always feels like that scene from the Lonely Guy (a Steve Martin movie), where he asks for a table for one, the restaurant goes silent, and the spotlight shines on him. This fish and chips was a more upscale take on the matter, but it worked, there was a lot of food, and it was relatively cheap. Headed over to Kofi Tomasar Fraenda for a couple beers after that. This place is pretty cool... just below street level, more laid back. Not much going on on a Tuesday night, so the cat is signing off early to get up for the breakfast buffet.

- CM

I Found It: Bird Lane!

Not too much to report from Iceland today. Finally managed to fall asleep around 4 or 5 am, slept until 11:30. Went peeping around town, and finally managed to cram some food down my gullet after only eating a Clif Bar on Sunday. After muttering "and this bit here is just packed with vitamins and minerals and loaded with calories," I took off to explore some more of Reykjavik. Cat's conclusion: there's not a ton in Reykjavik to take pictures of. I did stumble upon this little area teeming with birdlife. Pigeons, ducks, swans, it pretty much had them all.

For din tonight, I did my homework and set off to find this bar called Boston (naturally). I go up the stairs and hear this ominous dog bark. Mangy little black and white dog runs up to me, so that was nice. Played with the dog for a bit while I sat awkwardly trying to figure out what this place's deal was. Then the dog jumped up on this cute Icelandic hipster girl sitting at the bar. As it turned out, this bar no longer had food, so we all had a good laugh at that. Managed to find a little cafe where I could get some plokkfiskur (traditional fish stew), which turned out to be actually pretty delicious. Cute blonde girl working there, but I guess that's the norm for Iceland. That's it for today. Big day tomorrow: lava cave exploring and snorkeling in 35 degree water, so stay tuned...

- CM

Cat's Night Out

I woke up this morning and stumbled around the room to find my watch (because there's no clock in this hotel room). 4:30, way too early to get up. But why is it light out? Ohhh. Yep, slept until 4:30 in the afternoon -- to be fair I only slept for about 3 hours in a 44 hour period before that and drank about a million beers last night.

I started the night out with a din, trying to look in windows and find a good spot. Ended up paying about $20 for a shitty cheeseburger, fries, and a Viking beer. Beer here doesn't seem too great, just a lot of bland blonde ales.

After din, I wandered around a bit more, trying to find a place to sit and take the edge off. I had a beer at a couple different places, but there didn't seem to be too many people around. I finally found a place called the English Pub with a sizable crowd and a guy playing acoustic guitar (can't get away from hearing Don't Stop Believing). They had a big wheel you could spin for 1,500kr, and you could win between 0 and 8 beers (beers cost about 750-800kr). Talked to a crazy drunk Icelandic dude, and a dude from Norway. Catman's Law: Anywhere in the world you are, this phrase remains true: "Lot of dudes in here." Left that place for Dillon Rock Bar where there was a band setting up. I'm sitting there, thinking these guys are going to be some sort of Icelandic basement rock band. Nope, just these funky little instrumentals that sounded like the band presets on a 1980s Casio keyboard. Good time.

Those guys finished up, and I took off trying to follow the stream of cars all going in one direction. Popped into another place and set up camp at the bar. People in Reykjavik really don't go out until midnight, but places started to get pretty crowded pretty fast. At some point I started talking to a couple Icelandic dudes (yea more dudes). One of the dudes was named Greemer, I think. Greemer seemed like a pretty cool dude, I think he was a couple years younger. Anyway, left for another bar with Greemer, and we somehow started talking to a couple Icelandic girls, who Greemer said were the Icelandic equivalent of Jersey Shore trash. But one of them was hot, so naturally we followed them to yet another bar (Icelandic people like to bar hop). Sitting at a table, I notice this really hot girl who is in line keeps looking at me. So I'm thinking things are looking up. Cut to a few minutes later, she comes over, tells me she's looking for Icelandic men, and that I'm handsome but too short. Thanks. I KNOW THAT.

Ended the night with Greemer buying me a cheeseburger from this little stand. I got back to the hotel and shoved it into the mini bar fridge, but I don't even think this fridge is on. All in all, good little Saturday eve in Reykjavik. Also, the hot water here smells like rotten eggs.

- CM

WWHD?

That's what I'll be asking myself during the course of this trip: What Would Henry (m'fin' Rollins) do? Let me preface your first live blog from Reykjavik by saying I've been up for over 24 hours now and just had a latte at a cafe. I'M SO EXCITED I'M SO EXCITED I'M SO SCARED

Sitting in my aisle seat next to a kindly older woman, things were looking up for your beloved cat. Of course a few minutes prior to boarding, a woman shows up with her 1 1/2 year old to round out the row. Thankfully, I got saved by the nice IcelandAir crew who moved me to a window seat further back, presumably because they could sense my fear of that baby. At some point into the flight, I noticed a small red blurry spot out the window. As we flew north, it ended up being the moon, which grew to about a half moon during the flight... pretty awesome if you like that sort of thing. Towards the last hour or two, the sun started coming up over the horizon. Pretty great dawn view of the mountains in the distance, and the cloud cover looked like ice. Very nice scene until we hit 2,500 ft. and zero visibility. Yep, cold and misting, which is weird weather for a cat to be in.

Got to the hotel around 8 but couldn't check in yet. So I ended up walking down lasngruuvaturnuraji (sp?) street. Along the way I saw a pretty hot blonde girl in the passenger seat of a car going by. I ran after it, but it was going too fast. While I was drinking my latte, I swear I saw Macgruber walk by. It's a pretty fun game to guess where everyone is from. Soul patch? Frilly scarf/sweater combo? Acting like a douche? France. Trucker hat? North Face gear? Pal'ing around with your bro? USA. A little bit rolly-polly and laugh like an elf? Denmark. Maybe it's because I watched Inception on the plane, but it feels like everyone is looking at me, trying to identify the outsider.

I'm gonna get some sleep, recharge my batteries. Thinking about heading over to Sjavarkjallarinn for dinner and maybe a nice little night over at Nylenduvoruverslun Hemma & Valda. You know, all the usual places.

- CM

See You On The Other Side, J

Well, Catfans, my departure for Reykjavik is nigh upon us. Pleepleus is packed snuggly into my carry-on luggage for safe keeping, and I have my travel condom securely in place. The contents of my suitcase are: winter boots, socks, underwear. When I get there, I'm going to eat a hot dog. Ok... time's ticking down, and I need to go do some squats to loosen my jeans up. Remember to check in mid-afternoons next week for live blogs from ICELAND. I'll probably put up some pictures of the hot dog.

- CM

Catman's Big Adventure

After weeks of planning and preparing, the Catman leaves tomorrow for Riceland in Stuttgart, Arkansas. No doubt an unusual choice to many, the Catman has always been fascinated by the bulk rice processing industry -- wait a second, there's been a misunderstanding...

Iceland. That makes a bit more sense. The Catman sets sail (not literally) tomorrow for Iceland, where he'll spend a week swimming in lava flows, climbing glaciers, sledding with dogs, and desperately trying to stick his peep into something blonde, as he slowly comes to learn the meaning of the word "nei." His only companion on this journey? A stuffed monkey named Jableus, and you, Catman Nation. That's right, the Catman will be live-blogging the entire adventure (expect new posts mid-afternoon), and will field responses to e-mails you send. So ready those electronic quills.

A doodle

The Catman and I just had to sit through an hour-long meeting, during which I made this little drawing. That's me holding him as he sleeps. Be very quiet - he wakes easily!

The Cat's Meow... or Tweet

That's right. In addition to our new fancy(feast) look, you can now follow the ups and downs of the Catman on Twitter. (Just kidding. There are no ups.)

From the Desk of the Foreign Correspondent

Yesterday afternoon, I had to close out of all running programs for IT to remotely install a program onto my computer. This meant no conversing with the Catman for a period of 20 to 30 minutes. The Foreign Correspondent caught the fallout. (It helps to imagine the Catman as a news anchor* while you read it).

Catman: j has disappeared

Foreign Correspondent: maybe in the sun room taking a nap?

Catman: maybe

Foreign Correspondent: you panicking?

Catman: pancaking

he's just being a bone

Foreign Correspondent: why now?

Catman: might actually do a second cup of tea

need something this afternoon

to keep me going

Foreign Correspondent: that's nice

Catman: eh blow it out your ear

Foreign Correspondent:

you call j a bone

then start talking about how you're having a 2nd cup of tea

how is that interesting to anyone?

Catman: gimme mines

Foreign Correspondent: now you're just muttering

Catman: underwear's riding up

never get short cut

Foreign Correspondent: now you're really being dumb

Catman: bad bear

*A news anchor at the very worst news agency in the world.

--

Op-ed: The Relevance and Significance of the Catman in the 21st Century

This kind of exchange is what we've come to expect here at YDG, and probably doesn't surprise many of our readers. It's the same old equation: one part idiocy and one part frustration lead to a half part of comedy.

Some people may not know, but the Catman and I traveled to NYC this weekend. On Saturday night, he, alongside the Foreign Correspondent, regaled a small, but dedicated, group of YDG readers with tales of their travels. So the question is: With a shtick this old -- what is it that people like about the Catman? What brings them back for more of this cat-style of humor?

Could it be some fundamental flaw shared by all of them? While possible, it also seems unlikely. Could it be that the Catman expresses something they cannot, themselves, articulate? No. Definitely not.

I asked the Catman yesterday what he thought the Catman stood for, and he said "a guy who is like a cat but is also like a guy." The Catman has a very literal mind, and unfortunately, it doesn't receive much blood flow.

Then the answer arrived. The Foreign Correspondent informed me that one of the members of Saturday night's viewing audience told him that the Catman had been trying to get "back to basics" since High School, maybe even longer. To an audience spread across the world (we've got readers in 15 states and 17 countries), the quixotic and trivial pursuits of the Catman represents that one unchanging constant in their lives. To the solider in Afghanistan who sleeps restlessly under the fire of mortar rounds, and the Columbia grad student who finds his mechanical pencil has just run out of lead, the Catman is the one thing they can both agree to call home.