J and the Catman share a moment

Catman: j

J: yo

Catman: i nub you

J: come on man

Catman: :)

Foreign Correspondent JJVH Not Made Partner

It's tough to lose good help. Even tougher to lose grood help. At the end of this month, foreign correspondent JJVH leaves the United States for Africa to work as an indentured servant for the family pictured above. With this move, it is highly likely he will sever his ties with YDG.blogspot.com. So I was surprised when I got to work this morning to see him already in the box:

JJVH: Working J. Groodbud hours here.

JJVH: Trying to make partner at groodbud & groodbud.

JJVH: My life is a whirlwind. it's pretty crazy. And in 3 weeks it will stop and I will have nothing. I'll spend my days quietly monitoring the roomba

J: We should talk about upping your ydg responsibilities.

JJVH: Maybe I could monitor the catmail? Edit the questions and send them to the catman for responses?

JJVH: Honestly though, unless i make partner at Groodbud & groodbud, everything changes. However, the limited compensation pool at present has made the partnership reluctant to expand.

J: This is true -- if we had more donations (ahem) we could offer to pay you more.

JJVH: Groodbud, Groodbud and the K.I.D. That has a nice ring to it.

J: It certainly does. Let me talk to the Catman.

--

The Catman is a stickler though. And with over half of our anticipated revenues being used to support his online dating habits, I suspected that we weren't going to have the funds. Still, I asked him anyway:

J: JJVH wants partner

Catman: hmm yea

Catman: maybe a few more years with the firm.

And just like that, an era came to an end. Send us a resume at groodbud@gmail.com

The Cat's Meow: Catman Responds to Your Catmail

We're quite excited to have received our first Catmail. Here at Groodbud & Groodbud, we cherish your support and take your input seriously. That's why we've decided to include a new section on YDG: The Cat's Meow. Each week, one lucky Catfan will have their Catmail read and responded to by the Catman, himself. Our first Catmail comes Big-A in Austin, TX. Big-A writes:

Catman,

I heard that Catman has recently acquired a basil plant in his apartment. This would be good for the Catman so he doesn’t get lonely and so more of the CO2 in his apartment is seeped up and replaced with oxygen. However, I’m concerned as cats are notoriously bad at taking care of plants. Can Catman provide a plant update?

Big-A

------------

Dear Big-A,

You heard correctly. I have been given a basil plant, aptly named Basil. He lives in a paper cup and is only a baby. We have developed an unlikely bond over the past week -- a bond that shall continue to grow stronger. As I weep before bed, I make sure to collect my tears so that he may have a drink. We sit on the couch in silence, because we do not need words to express our love. Each night, I stroke his leaves softly, singing a collection of his favorite showtunes while I prepare his glass of warm Yoo-Hoo. We are doing quite well together. Quite well, indeed.

I hope this answers your question. You keep sending them, we'll keep reading them.

Introducing: Catmail

Checking the analytics account this morning, I noticed that someone in Tranas, Sweden visited YDG.blogspot.com yesterday. Including the U.S., we've now received hits from Canada, Brazil, India, Spain, Bulgaria, and Sweden. It's only a matter of time before the rest of Europe falls, and with it, the gateway to the rest of the world. Not too bad for a little site about a couple of buds.

Using what was left of the money from YDG merchandise sales (the Catman spent most of it on a muffin yesterday morning), we've decided to roll out: Catmail. Initially, we'd wanted it to perform a lot of the same functions as gmail, but be limited to Catfans. However, this was a sheer insanity. We've scaled it back to an e-mail account where out loyal readers can ask the Catman questions (i.e., what are you thinking for din tonight?) or provide suggestions about how to improve YDG.blogspot.com (i.e., shut it down). We look forward to hearing from you!

CATMAN 20/20 FLASH

Voting has closed. The Catman is now officially "out there" on the internet dating scene, and he's been flooded with responses. Because of his early success there; the quasi-celebrity status he's attained through YDG (Olá Brazil!); and a computer program that he completed last night, he's grown more confident and comfortable with himself. To be honest, it's been a real joy to watch. So the question remains - why does the lonely cat have a lonely?

Because he's a greedy little bastard who always needs attention.

After I hadn't responded to his 10 minute summary of every nuance of one of the hundreds of dates he's going on this weekend, he sent me this:

Catman: JABER

Catman: FLYING PEEPER

Catman: CHECK IT TO THE NORTH

Catman: COMING IN HOT

I humored him with a "haha" because, believe it or not, this is actually a relatively common exchange to indicate that he feels overlooked (although this is the first time the flying peepers have come from the North). The "haha" was apparently all he needed.

Catman: gotta go on a diet i think

Catman: is because i ate that stupid pastry thing

Catman: so feeling bulky now

Catman: that's one of the steps to getting it back

Catman: gotta clean my room

Catman: buy some more pants

Keep in mind that he bought a new pair of pants last weekend, and that because of a still undiagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder his room is always completely spotless. Still, he's got a date this weekend, so things are looking up.

The Scratching Post: Catman Replaces J with Pile of Trash

If J wants to stick it to me with that little horse tramp he's going around with now, I'll stick it right back to him. I, the Catman, am officially bumping J from the #1 groodbud slot, and replacing him with a far superior groodbud: a pile of trash. Once the proper forms have been filled out, the list of Catbuds will stand as thus:
1) Pile of Trash
2) [left blank in case a really great bud comes along]
3) J

J Finds New, Better Bud in New Orleans

Photo of J holding a beer for his new bud, a miniature horse named Rascal, in a gas station parking lot in New Orleans. However, because Rascal was denied entry onto American Airlines flight 8335 back to Boston on account of being a miniature horse, J will attempt to re-kindle his budship with the Catman over the next few days. The initial exchange has been rocky:

Catman: nice to have you back in the box

J.: I don't know. It feels different

Catman: lets get some chatter

Catman: some of that old time chatter

J.: I wonder what Rascal is up to?

Catman: Who's Rascal?

More posts forthcoming.